The One Question You Must Ask Yourself to Become a Successful #GirlBoss
"Right now, can you make an
unconditional relationship with yourself?
Just at the height you are, the weight you are,
with the intelligence that you have, and your
current burden of pain, can you enter into an unconditional relationship with that?"
- Pema Chödrön
As an entrepreneur, freelancer, or business owner, this is one of the most important questions you could ever ask yourself. I was presented with this very question from a Facebook video that I recently watched (check it out here). New problems, obstacles, and business needs constantly require you to either (1) gain new skills on the fly, or (2) outsource extra help, when you can't afford to spend time fixing those problems, yourself. Faced with this reality, one often finds one's self feeling overworked, burnt out, and INADEQUATE.
We cannot be held back by our insecurities, stress, or other obstacles, if we're ever to accomplish much in this life. We must enter into a mentality that we are starting out anew; no prior knowledge, nor any relevant experience, but, rather, an open mind, patience, and a belief in our own potential.
WE ARE HUMANS; WE ARE ALL LIMITED AT SOME POINT.
Whether by our access to resources (finances, connections, etc.), our time, aptitude, skills, education, or experience, we all face limitations, at some level. The first obstacle that many entrepreneurs struggle with, but must overcome, is this very truth. Indeed, many people never get to the point of TAKING ACTION on their dreams because they're so overwhelmed by their perceptions of their own limitations. Others do manage to take small steps forward, but are immediately discouraged upon the realization that their outcomes are far from "perfect," falling far short of their personal standards. Unable to learn from their mistakes and proceed constructively beyond their own self-criticism, such people may simply give up on their dreams.
WE MUST LEARN TO TAKE JOY IN THE JOURNEY.
As Tracee Ross mentions in the video, JOY should be our goal. Happiness is but a fleeting reaction to the highs we experience, and we can only ride that wave for so long. I've mentioned this in a previous post, but it's so important to mention again! We can only have joy when we practice gratitude daily! Our thoughts and the words we speak over ourselves have a significant impact on our well-being and overall attitude. We can also have joy by celebrating small victories - reaching 200 Twitter followers, hitting 1000 more page views this month, or gaining 10 new subscribers!
WE MUST NOT DEFINE OURSELVES BY OUR CURRENT STATE.
To define yourself based on your current situation is a death trap - you postpone your breakthrough with your limited thinking and defeatist mentality. You are NOT DEFINED by your failures, your lack of experience, your education, your possessions, or your connections. Just because you aren't where you want to be does not mean you won't ever get there, or that you shouldn't start now! Whenever you start something new, and are in totally foreign territory, just OWN that, and don't take yourself too seriously! You're going to feel vulnerable for a while - get used to that feeling, and don't take it as a sign of weakness. You are much better than the next person because you WALK THE WALK; you take initiative, and demonstrate your commitment to improving YOURSELF, to reach whatever goals you've set for yourself.